Life Goes On (Part 2)

The straw that finally broke the camel's back was, of all things, slow drains in the kitchen and bathroom sinks. After helping Barb deal with the loss of her mom a month ago, the bills are finally coming in for the two memorial services in California and Massachussets (including the burial and travel expenses). I am left juggling those unexpected costs with the outlays I already made for four new tires that needed to be replaced on the Toyota and scheduled maintenance for the Honda. LIkewise, money had already been spent  for trimming the front tree before the onset of winter storms, as well as that  leak on the roof that needed to be repaired after the winter storm that came a few weeks ago. Even with all those outlays, I am still trying to squirrel away a few dollars in savings for that inevitable rainy day when my contract expires and I will need to look for work (again) during a "jobless economic recovery".

So, in my mind, the kitchen and bathroom drains backing up the night before Barb is scheduled to leave for Boston with her  mom's cremated remains could not have happened at a worse time. It finally came to that point where I did not have the wherewithall, the patience, or the calm to "accept life on life's terms" as my world seemingly crumbled at my feet--and I was left alone, apart, and very afraid. In fact, I felt on the verge of emotional and economic panic spending a very sleepless night with Doom (the fear of losing what I have) and Gloom (the fear of not getting what I want) as they chattered incessantly about the 30% pay cut, the hour long commute in the morning and evening, and no paid time off to have a plumber look at the problem until the weekend.

Somehow, at day break, I gather my wits and start looking for plumbers who work on Saturdays, and I make plans to stay with my mom in the meantime should the plumbing problem get worse. Barb returns on Sunday, so we'll need to take a stab at  how we are going to  pay off the $3,500 in funeral expenses, the $1,200 in home repairs, and the $500 in auto repairs with paychecks that are 30% less  than what we made last year.

Sometimes, the best that I can do at moments like these is just  remind myself that the glass is not half-full or half-empty, it's just eight ounces out of 16...it is what it is.