Letting Go

As part of my morning routine, I have been reciting a prayer that is often quoted as:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things that I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

The complete version of the Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niehbur, that I use goes something like this:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things that I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as He did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that He will make all things right,
If I surrender to His will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

I found that the short form is like a billboard you see along the highway -- easily recognized, but not  fully understood. The longer version for me is like a roadmap that I can use to navigate the highway from Point A to Point B, with clear directions about the route I need to take and  milestones that  I can look for along the way.

You see, I am often tempted to sum up my life goals in buzz words that can fit on that billboard along the highway -- serenity, acceptance, courage, wisdom. But I don't have a clue at times on how to achieve these goals, so when life hits with Doom (the fear of losing what I have) and Gloom (the fear of not getting what I want), the words often ring empty in what I actually say and do. Then I react to rumors of layoffs, news that friends and colleagues have been laid off, or even when a boss doesn't smile at me when we pass in the hallway, by resorting to that persistent worry "How does this affect me?"

So, before I begin the insanity that I can easily make of the day by drifting into self-centeredness, I try to reflect on what the rest of the prayer is intended to remind me. Serenity can come to me whenever I take the day as it comes without the expectation that life could be "happily ever after" if  everybody (including myself) would just behave. Acceptance can come to me if I am willing to do the footwork and leave God the job of determining the outcome for the good of all (not just for me). Courage can come to me if I just trust in a kind and loving God and try to do the right thing even if it doesn't "look right" or "feel good". Wisdom can come to me whenever I show in my words and actions that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.

In other words, letting go of my ego allows me to be reasonably happy in this life, and  supremely happy with God forever in the next.