Paying It Forward (Again)

I started a holiday tradition when my oldest niece was just four years old (she's now 21 and at a far off place called UC Davis). Having first recited my three rules, we ventured into Walmart so that she could pick her own present--the caveats were that there was a $25 limit and she would need to wait until Christmas to unwrap it. She spent nearly an hour going up and down the toy aisles looking for that special gift, with me in tow, carefully explaining to me her likes and dislikes as I made several suggestions (then I  just gave up). Having settled on what I remember being a Barbie (or was it Cinderella) brush and comb set, she was quite content and I didn't have to figure out what to buy a four-year-old because she told me.

These holiday shopping trips grew over time to include my  my youngest niece (now 13 and about ready to go to high school). As always, there was an element of enlightened self-interest for me since I never had to guess what to give them if I just listened and paid attention.  They also benefitted by learning to handle money trying to get the biggest bang for their $25 (it served as a practical way to teach them arithmetic as they added up the price of all their wants), as well as sharpened their ability to negotiate a better deal (I was often a soft touch if they presented a good case).

This year, reflecting back on all that has happened to me, I was reminded of a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that put everything in perspective: "In the order of nature we cannot render benefits to those from whom we receive them, or only seldom. But the benefit we receive must be rendered again, line for line, deed for deed, cent for cent, to somebody."

So, I added a twist to the annual holiday shopping trip with a commitment to pay forward all the blessings I have received  (see my post Gratitude List (Redux)). In addition to picking a gift for themselves, I asked my nieces to pick a gift for someone their age that I could bring for a church-sponsored  drive for those less fortunate. I watched in admiration as my nieces spent as much time and care picking the Barbie Doll to be donated as their own gifts.

I also added the same twist with my oldest grandson, now eight and a big Lego fan. He had set his eyes on a  Pirates of the Caribbean  set he wanted that went beyond the budget at $120,  but I calmly explained that it would take two to three hours for either his mom, dad, Grandma, or me  to earn enough money to buy the toy. I admit that he certainly presented a good case for the generosity by also picking out age-appropriate toys for my younger grandsons (now five and three years old). Dillon eventually eventually chose a strategy of the biggest bang for the buck by selecting a Nitroblast set.

He also took extra care in choosing a toy suitable for a boy his age. I calmly explained that not every parent was able to give a boy a present for Christmas, so he could think of the toy as a present from him. After thinking about it for a moment, he was OK with the idea and he chose a Furno 3.0 set. The toys eventually arrived with other gifts that Barb and I brought to the local toy collection at our local church.

In the end, my nieces and grandson gave me a precious gift  -- a reminder that there is indeed a reason for the season.