With the recent arrival of a new CEO at the company, my manager told me this week that my current assignment may not be converted to full-time status because of budgetary constraints (but he assured me that I have a job until at least the end of the year).
My immediate reaction was to anticipate only despair and foreboding. I have a knack for subtly distorting present circumstances with past memories of disappointment, frustration, perhaps even betrayal. A common term for this malaise is "doubt". I'm not so sure whether the choices that I made over the past six months have been aligned with my will or God's will, or ultimately whether I'm even willing to accept the outcome of those choices.
It is only with persistent and conscious effort is it possible for me to avoid slipping into a whirlpool of negativity that allows my feelings to become false evidence appearing real (otherwise known as fear). So each day this week, I start off by expressing gratitude that I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, and more than a few dollars saved for that rainy day. Such a simple change in attitude leads to a faith that allows for different choices…and possibly different outcomes.
God has always had a meaning, purpose, and plan for my life. I just have to remember that it's not up to me to know (or understand) all of the details.
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