A good friend of mine shared with me in an e-mail the habits that prevent me from living life on life's terms: negative self-talk, fear, impossible expectations, blaming others, and guilt trips. The e-mail ended with this: "Thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become habits. Habits become character. And character becomes your destiny.”
I reflected on these words as the New Year approached, and I had to accept that people, places, things, situations, and outcomes were not the "causes" of why my life was not going "my way". Rather, "my way" was distorted by my reactions to people, places, things, situations, and outcomes based on resentment, selfishness, dishonesty, or fear. I began to see that any slight or harm done to me over the years -- fancied or real -- had the power to actually dominate my words and actions.
All too often, those words and actions harmed others, and they retaliated, seemingly without provocation. Looking back, I now see that I put myself in a position to be hurt -- usually due to a a decision I made that was motivated by resentment, selfishness, dishonesty, or fear.
So, my New Years resolution is not to lose weight or exercise more. Rather, I need to ask God on a daily basis to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonesty, or self-seeking motives. I realize that I am only really responsible for the footwork, and that I need to turn over the outcome to God, who is my ultimate employer. I am no longer in charge, and I need to say many times throughout the day "Thy will, not mine, be done."
