Nothing really prepared me for my last day working in Silicon Valley -- not the 16 previous jobs that lasted anywhere from 6 months to 6 years, nor the 7 layoffs that lasted 3 to 11 months. You see, I follow a familiar routine waiting for the other shoe to drop having worked as a full-time employee and contractor for the past 30 years.
As a full-time employee, I constantly look over my shoulder after being let go despite working long hours to meet tight project deadlines.
As a contractor, I leave without a trace after 6:00 pm since I no longer fret about the golden handcuffs (ie, health insurance, 401(k) plans, and stock options) that shackle full-time employees to the notion of "job security". I am also wary of offers to “audition” for the job on a contract to permanent basis.
But this time was different. I felt the grip of Doom (the self-centered fear of losing what I have) and Gloom (the self-centered fear or not getting what I want) settling in for a long stay as I struggled for months to recover from recurring bouts of bronchitis and asthma.
Finally, I reached out to my manager and shared my concern that the stress from work was affecting my health. My manager followed up with HR right away to address the issue. With my doctor's approval, I was placed on a three week disability leave. Accepting what seemed inevitable, I admitted that I was done.
Then, a funny thing happened. I was relieved that I no longer needed to unwind from the stress of 60 hour work weeks that made me dread Mondays or obsess about layoffs that made me dread Thursdays.
What I finally realized was that it's all about doing the next right thing: putting food on the table, clothes on my back, a roof over my head, and a few dollars in the bank for a rainy day.
And especially learning to live one day at a time (a lesson that takes a lifetime).
I once explored the possibility of moving to a more leisurely and affordable lifestyle in the San Joaquin Valley near Sacramento (see You Never Know). After talking with my financial and tax advisors, I was ready to tell my manager that I quit and sell my home in the Bay Area.
A good friend said that I just took the opportunity to lay myself off.
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