Serenity

As part of my morning routine during the trying times we all live in, I have been taught to recite a prayer that is often quoted as:

God grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change, 
Courage to change the things that I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

The complete version of the Serenity Prayer, that I use goes something like this:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change (ie people, places, situations, and outcomes),
Courage to change the things that I can (Ie, my attitudes and my actions),
and the wisdom to know the difference (ie, Thy will, not mine, be done).
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as He did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that He will make all things right,
If I surrender to His will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

— Reinhold Niebur

I found that the short form is like a billboard you see along the highway -- easily recognized, yet not always understood. The longer version for me is like a roadmap that I can use to navigate the highway from Point A to Point B, with clear directions about the route I need to take and milestones that I can look for along the way.

You see, I am often tempted to sum up my life goals as buzz words that can fit on that billboard along the highway -- serenity, acceptance, courage, wisdom. But I don't have a clue at times on how to achieve these goals.

So when life hits me with Doom (the fear of losing what I have) or Gloom (the fear of not getting what I want), those buzz words often ring hollow in what I actually say and do.

Then, I react to rumors of layoffs, news that friends and colleagues have been laid off, or even when a boss doesn't smile at me when we pass in the hallway, by resorting to that persistent worry "How does this affect me?"

So, before I begin the insanity that I can easily make of the day by drifting into selfish, dishonest, or self-seeking motives, I try to reflect on what the complete version of the Serenity Prayer is intended to remind me.

Serenity can come to me whenever I take the day as it comes without the expectation that life should be "happily ever after" if everybody (including myself) would just behave.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.

Acceptance can come to me whenever I am willing to do the footwork and let a God of my understanding determine the outcome for the good of all (not just for me). Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.

Courage can come to me whenever a faith in a God of my understanding gives me the strength to do the next right thing even if it doesn't make me "look good" or "feel good". I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in my attitudes and my actions.

Wisdom can come to me whenever my words and actions show that a God of my understanding is doing for me what I cannot do for myself. This becomes possible when I let go of my ideas about what should be and embrace what is instead.

In other words, letting go of my ego allows me to be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy forever in the next.  I ask a God of my understanding for the willingness to do the next right thing even if it doesn’t make me “look good” or “feel good”. Then I  let a God of my understanding determine the outcome for the good of all (not just for me).