I admit that I have been hard on myself (and others) for quite a while now. So, before I start feeling too sorry for wasting my precious time, I'll restart my day by counting the blessings that did come my way:
- I see that my attitude has changed from "the glass is half empty" to "the glass is half full". Perhaps a small change (like making lemonade when you're given lemons), but I hope one that will lead to better and more fulfilling choices.
- I learned to accept life on life's terms. I could only face the challenges with my health and employment due to the encouragement and understanding of friends and colleagues who shared their own experience, strength and hope with me.
- I came to terms with a kind and loving God of my understanding. Over time, I see that God is doing for me what I cannot not do for myself. Indeed, I now accept that my life has a meaning, purpose, and plan beyond just a knee jerk reaction to the self-centered fears of Doom (the fear of losing what I have) and Gloom (the fear of not getting what I want).
- I can move on now that my footwork is done and I have turned the outcome over to God. I put my life on hold as I dealt with the financial and emotional insecurity moving from the San Francisco Bay Area to the San Joaquin Valley near Sacramento (see The Second Time Around). Perhaps, for the first time in a long time, I can honestly say that today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I'm feeling better already.
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